Winning Dawn Read online

  He slid out of bed and went to take a cold shower. She was probably fucking that dickhead fiancé of hers right now, Evan reminded himself. The thought made him unaccountably angry.

  He was scheduled to play basketball with some friends today. His buddy Lucas had wanted to set him up with his girlfriend’s friend for some time now. Maybe he’d finally take him up on his offer.

  Chapter 2

  The weeks slipped by and before she knew it, it was time for Kayla’s wedding rehearsal. Her cousin and Joshua were eager to get married. Despite the fact that Christmas was still over a month away, they would have a holiday themed wedding. It had been Kayla’s dream since childhood.

  Reggie wanted to save up money for their wedding and honeymoon. He was working extra hours at his uncle’s garage. She’d even agreed to some overtime at the law office where she worked as an administrative assistant. As a result, she and Reggie weren’t spending much time together.

  Dawn attempted to keep up a cheerful façade as she assisted Kayla with her wedding plans. Even as she pretended to be excited by the idea of male strippers for Kayla’s bachelorette party, inside she was riddled with doubt about her own engagement. She and Reggie still had not discussed a wedding date. They both worked so many hours that they barely crossed paths.

  Then there was Evan. She hadn’t seen him since that night, but she couldn’t forget him or the “Incident,” as she had come to think of it. How could she? It made her question her feelings for Reggie despite the fact that she’d loved him for what seemed forever.

  The truth was she and Reggie didn’t have much in common. They didn’t share the same interests. His were centered on gaming, cars, poker, and hanging out with his cousins. Her interests were more broad and varied, but games and vehicles were not amongst them.

  Their goals were disparate. Reggie was fine with their current townhouse, their current jobs. No change at all was fine by him. Dawn had hopes of going back to school, completing her business degree, and finding a better job.

  She was beginning to fear that she wasn’t in love with Reggie anymore. Even thinking it made her short of breath. She’d devoted so much of her life and her time to him that she couldn’t imagine her life without him. Prior to the “Incident,” she had never even imagined not being with him forever.

  Yet at night, she was having hot, wicked dreams about Evan. She willed them to go away, but her subconscious was stubborn and suddenly fixated on that outspoken white boy despite the fact that it had been two months since their encounter.

  She’d never dated interracially. It was anathema to her. Now all she could think of was his tanned hands on her brown body. Maybe it was the subtle taboo of race mixing that excited her, but she didn’t think so. No, it was the man himself. She’d be in bed or in the shower and suddenly she’d be assailed with the memory of the clean scent of him. Or she’d recall his minty taste. Or her nipples tingled at the remembered feel of his hard, toned muscles pressing into hers.

  The one time Reggie had tried to make love to her in the last two months, she’d turned him down, claiming to have a headache. But the horrifying truth was that she hadn’t wanted him. She hadn’t wanted his wet kisses or fumbling caresses.

  She felt guilty about her fantasies about Evan. Especially so when she used those fantasies to achieve an orgasm. She felt it would have been wrong to sleep with Reggie while she fantasized about another man she knew. It wasn’t the same as pretending he was Lance Gross or Jesse Williams. She had no chance of ever meeting either of those actors.

  The rehearsal dinner was being held a week before the wedding. If Dawn didn’t love her cousin so much, she’d have been eaten up with envy. Her aunt Catherine was footing the bill for the wedding of Kayla’s dreams. Throughout the rehearsal, Josh looked at her cousin as though she were the only woman in the world.

  At the dinner afterwards, she was seated across from Evan. Throughout the proceedings, they had managed to avoid acknowledging each other. Evan gave her a terse nod of greeting as he seated his date. Dawn returned it with a cool nod of her own as she seated herself. Reggie was already seated to her right. She eyed Evan’s date surreptitiously. The woman was as thin as she was pale and she was whiter than milk. Dawn didn’t doubt that the woman was a natural blonde because of her ghostly complexion, but her hair was bleached to an unnatural degree. There was also the telling fact that her brows were a darker shade. Her eyes were a light sky blue.

  Well, she thought, this ought to put an end to the dreams she was having of Evan. If this skinny woman was his type, then he couldn’t possibly be harboring any amorous intentions toward her generous caramel curves. She thought she might have caught his gaze on her occasionally, but decided it was wishful thinking. Besides, she was with Reggie.

  * * * *

  Later that night, Dawn punched her pillow to make a comfortable dent for her head. Reggie slid into bed behind her. His arm curved around her waist. He toyed with the string on her pajama bottoms.

  Dawn stiffened.

  “Wanna?” he murmured against her neck. He thrust his hips at her. He was already erect.

  She couldn’t recall the last time they were intimate. His wet lips hit her neck. Dawn grimaced. Reggie’s kisses were perpetually too wet. She’d told him a dozen times as gently as she could to no avail. He started doing circles with his hips, rubbing his erection into her backside. She closed her eyes and tried to get into the mood. She should want this, this closeness between them. Yet she felt . . . repulsed.

  Was Evan in bed with the blonde string bean now? The thought made her angry and she pushed it aside. Why should she be angry? He was nothing to her.

  Reggie tugged at her arm to roll her over. His mouth covered hers with one of his signature sloppy kisses. She shoved at his shoulder until he released her lips and began kissing her neck again. He bit her, making her wince. She was so not feeling this right now. “Reggie, I’m not in the mood.”

  “Come on. I did what you wanted—dressed up in a monkey suit and played nice with the rich folks. Now it’s your turn to do something I want to do.”

  His words irritated her. Dawn sat up and scooted away from him. “You’re such an ass sometimes.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “And you’re such a snobby bitch after you hang with that cousin of yours. What is she, too good to marry a brother?”

  Dawn’s jaw dropped. She didn’t know which insult to respond to first. She leveled a finger at his chest. “Stop talking about my cousin that way. And since that’s your attitude, consider yourself uninvited to the wedding.”

  He threw his hands up in the air. “Hallelujah!”

  “You should want to go. It’ll give us ideas for our own wedding.”

  “We’ll never be able to afford the lavish wedding your aunt is going to give your cuz. Wake up and realize that. We’ve both been working and saving and it just ain’t happening.”

  While Aunt Catherine was footing the bill for Kayla’s wedding, the couple could have easily paid for it themselves. Joshua and Kayla owned a custom design firm. The business was really beginning to take off as of late. They were comfortably well off, but the way Reggie talked about them one would think they were rolling in millions.

  “Reggie, we haven’t made any plans for our wedding. We haven’t even set a date.”

  He rolled his eyes. “You’ve got the ring. Stop sweating the date.”

  She narrowed her eyes as an ugly suspicion took root. “Reggie, did you propose to get me back?” She’d thought his proposal had meant he was finally growing up. She’d believed that it was a sign that as a couple, they were ready to move past the drama. But now, it seemed like all she was getting were delays from him.

  He fluffed his pillow and turned on his side. “Course not.”

  “Look at me when you say that.”

  He gave an exasperated sigh and flipped back over. His eyes didn’t quite meet hers. “Of course not.”

  Dawn grabbed her pillow and hit him with it. “You bastard! You have no intention of marrying me, do you?”

  “I said, you have the ring. What more do you—” He was interrupted as she whacked him again.

  “I want someone who is as committed to me as I am to them. I’ve wasted fourteen years of my life on you!”

  Reggie swore hotly before shoving the covers back and getting out of bed. “I’ve been there for all fourteen of those years. I’ve suffered through your snooty crap. I put up with you smothering me. We live together. Damn. Why do you always want more?”

  Dawn shook her head. She couldn’t keep beating her head against the same brick wall. She couldn’t stay with Reggie anymore because of what they used to mean to each other or because of what she hoped might develop. He was happy living together. Marriage didn’t mean anything to him. She slid out of bed and went to the jewelry box on the bureau. She took out her engagement ring and handed it back to Reggie. “You’re right. I need to wake up.” She bit her lip, her eyes filling with tears for all the good times they had shared. “And this isn’t going to work.”

  “Don’t be dramatic.” He held the ring out to her. “You might as well keep it. It’s not like I don’t always want to be with you.”

  Sweet words like those used to encourage her to hold on, to believe that he truly loved her. Not anymore. His actions had killed her love little by little. She didn’t have anything left to give him. “But I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

  “Dawn, you’re talking crazy.”

  She shook her head and wiped away her tears. “You’ll always be special to me, Reggie.”

  “Okay, damn, we’ll get married. Get the calendar. Let’s pick out a date.”

  “No.”

  “You made your point. Don’t be stubborn.”

  “I’ll keep the townhouse if you can’t afford the rent. You can move back in with your mother.”

  His eyes widened. “Come on, girl. You’re being spiteful. Here.” He took her hand and tried to put the ring on her finger.

  Dawn pulled away from him. “No,” she said firmly. “We don’t want the same things. This isn’t about tonight only.”

  He shook his head. “No. I know what this is. You found out about that thing with Tanika. Look, that’s over now. You know I love you. She didn’t mean anything.”

  Dawn covered her face with her hands. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She’d heard those words from him more times than she cared to count. Reggie always said they didn’t mean anything, but that wasn’t true. Those women signified how little he cared about hurting her. “How long?”

  “Not long. Four or five months, maybe.”

  She dropped her hands. “Have you been working any overtime at all or have you been seeing her?” At his shrug, she had her answer. She also knew now that her overtime wasn’t the only reason they hadn’t been having sex. She should have suspected something sooner. But she’d been too preoccupied feeling guilty over a simple kiss. Her conscience yelled that the kiss had been too significant to call “simple,” but she ignored it.

  “Look, baby, I can end it with her. She’s nothing. I only want you.”

  She was so tired of playing this scene over and over with him. He didn’t seem to notice his slip. Minutes ago, he’d said it was over with Tanika. Now he was promising to end it. “The phone number in your pocket with the lipstick on it that you told me belonged to your cousin, was that her number?”

  He looked wary. “Yes,” he said slowly.

  “Don’t worry. I’m not going to call her.” She’d confronted his flings in the past, but no more. “Reggie, I didn’t know about Tanika until you told me. I want out because this isn’t healthy for us.”

  He pulled her to him. “Come on, baby. You don’t mean that.” He tried to kiss her, but she resisted and twisted out of his embrace. “What do you want? You want me to beg? Fine. I’ll beg.” He dropped to his knees. His green eyes darkened with emotion. “Please, baby. You mean everything to me.”

  “It’s not going to work this time. You don’t get it. I’m done.”

  He clung to her, tears filling his beautiful eyes. “I love you. I’m so sorry. It won’t ever happen again.”

  Dawn fought to break his embrace but couldn’t. She didn’t believe his words or his tears. They’d been down this road so many times before. The difference was that this was the first time she’d had a clear head. She could see the pattern of their past of break ups and make ups. Their relationship had cost her the friendships of women that he’d been attracted to. She’d left school to come back to him because he’d said the separation was too difficult. That decision had caused a strain on her relationship with her mother and the rest of her family that still wasn’t repaired. She’d chosen to put him and his feelings first time after time. “Reggie, stop it. It’s over.”

  “Never. You still love me. Why else would you be crying?”

  She ran her hand over her cheeks, surprised to find fresh tears. Dashing them away with the back of her hand, she made another attempt to get away from him. “I don’t know.” She shoved at his shoulders, almost losing her balance. “Let me go, damn it!”

  “Not until you tell me that you love me and that you’ll marry me.”

  “This is ridiculous. You don’t want to marry me!”

  “I know. But I’ll do it for you.”

  “Don’t do me any favors. I don’t want to marry you anymore.”

  His eyes narrowed. He released her legs and slowly stood. “You fucking around on me?”

  “No!” She turned from him. He grabbed her arm and swung her back around.

  “My turn. Look me in the eye and tell me that you’re not fucking around.”

  She glared at his hand on her arm. “Let go.”

  He threw her arm down. “You are, aren’t you?”

  “Don’t try to flip the script on me, Reggie. We’re through.”

  “Answer my question and then we’re through.”

  “No, I am not sleeping with anyone else.” She didn’t see the point in telling him about the explosive kiss she’d shared with Evan. It would serve no purpose other than to hurt him. Despite the numerous times he’d been unfaithful to her, she didn’t want to injure him that way. After all they’d shared, she hoped they could part amicably.

  He continued to stare at her. Finally, he sighed when she didn’t back down. “I love you, girl. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll get some of my stuff and move out.” He shrugged. “Maybe before I get fully moved out, you’ll change your mind.” He took his pillow off his side of the bed and went downstairs.

  Dawn closed the door and locked it just in case he thought to seduce her to his way of thinking. She climbed into bed and had a good cry over finally letting go of her dream of happily ever after with Reggie.

  Chapter 3

  Evan looked down at the woman who was ruining his life. She’d changed her hair again. Today it was a mass of black curls subtly shot through with burgundy and artfully arranged upon her head to allow a few tendrils to trail down to rest upon her plump bosom. The color went surprisingly well with the icy blue bridesmaid gown she wore.

  Josh and Kayla’s wedding had been beautiful. Kayla had been a lovely bride, but he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the woman in his arms. And she was giving him the cold shoulder. She was stiff in his arms and hadn’t spoken a word to him since he took her hand to lead her onto the dance floor. Her gaze skittered away whenever their eyes met.

  The only reason she was dancing with him was because he was the best man and she was the maid of honor. It would have been rude of her not to dance with him.

  How this woman had gotten under his skin was a mystery to him. He’d shared one kiss with Dawn Smith and it was wrecking his life. He couldn’t sleep without dreaming of her. Thoughts of her had ruined any chances he’d had with April. He’d wanted to want to bed April. It had been a while for him and he’d needed the release. April was single, smart, and lovely. Sure, she was a bit skinny, but he could overlook that. She was the type of woman he’d always liked before he’d developed this unfortunate obsession with the lushly curved Dawn. Instead, he’d found himself turning away a very willing April. That had not been a pretty scene. She’d questioned his manhood when he’d asked her to put her clothes back on. He’d questioned his sanity. He was being loyal to a woman who wouldn’t care if he disappeared tomorrow. And most likely, would not notice if he did. Lack of sleep and sexual frustration were taking its toll on his work. As a technical writer, he had deadlines. He was days behind where he should have been on his latest software user manual.

  No doubt about it. Dawn Smith was wrecking his life. He felt like the stupidest dolt alive. He’d sworn after what happened with Sylvia that he’d never let another woman get to him. Yet here he was, all torn up over a woman who acted as though she hated him.

  His fingers tightened in frustration over hers. She gave him a curious glance. He clenched his jaw. “So where’s your intended?”

  She pursed her lips. “We broke up.”

  Evan was momentarily stunned. He stopped moving and another couple bumped into them on the dance floor. His heart thumped. She was single. “What do you mean you broke up? Nobody told me.”

  “I haven’t told Kayla. I wanted her to enjoy her wedding day and all the festivities leading up to it. I didn’t want her feeling sorry for me.” She looked up at him with shiny black lashes decorated with tiny, shiny jewels. “Where’s the dental floss?”

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